AP® English Language and Composition review sheet from Aim for Five (aimforfive.com/lang/units/6/6-5)
Unit 6 · Topic 6.5
6.5 Revising a thesis when new evidence appears
As you read more sources, you'll often find evidence that doesn't fit your first claim. Strong writers don't hide that evidence. They revise the thesis and the line of reasoning so the argument matches what the evidence actually shows.
Key terms
- thesis
- working thesis
- revision
- line of reasoning
- defensible claim
Start with a working thesis
A working thesis is your best answer so far, written down so you can test it. It's supposed to change. Writing one early helps you read sources with a purpose: for each source, ask whether it supports, complicates or contradicts what you've written.
Contradicting evidence is useful, not a disaster. It tells you where your claim is too broad, too simple or missing a condition.
Ways to revise a thesis
| Revision | When to use it | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Narrow it | Evidence shows the claim holds only for some people or places | All schools should ... → High schools should ... |
| Add a condition | Evidence shows it works only under certain circumstances | ... should ban phones → ... should ban phones during class, as long as families can reach students in emergencies |
| Qualify the strength | Evidence is suggestive, not certain | ... will fix ... → ... can reduce ... |
| Change the reason | Your claim survives but your first reason doesn't | ... because it saves money → ... because it improves health |
| Change your position | Most of the evidence points the other way | Switch sides and use your old reasons as the counterargument |
Revise the line of reasoning too
Your line of reasoning is the order of claims that lead to your thesis (3.4). When the thesis changes, check each body paragraph. A paragraph that supported the old thesis may now need a new topic sentence, a new place in the order, or a new job, such as handling the counterargument.
A quick check: read only your thesis and your topic sentences. They should form a short argument that makes sense on its own. If one topic sentence no longer leads to the thesis, revise it or cut the paragraph.
Revising under time pressure
On the synthesis essay, read all six sources before you commit to a final thesis. A thesis you write after reading everything is less likely to need emergency surgery halfway through the essay. If you realize mid-essay that your claim is too broad, you can still add a qualifier to the thesis sentence rather than starting over.
Multiple-choice writing questions also test this skill. You may see a draft paragraph plus a new piece of information and be asked how the writer should revise a claim to account for it. The best answer usually adjusts the claim's scope or adds a condition instead of ignoring the new information or abandoning the argument.
Worked examples
Try each one yourself first, then open the solution.
- Example 1
Revising after a contradicting source
Working thesis: "Schools should replace all homework with in-class practice, because homework doesn't help students learn." New source (written for this practice set; invented): A summary of studies reports that homework shows little benefit for elementary students but a modest benefit for high school students when assignments are short and directly connected to class. Revise the thesis and say what happens to the line of reasoning.
Show the solutionHide the solution
- Step 1: Find the conflict. The thesis says homework doesn't help anyone, but the source shows a benefit for high school students under certain conditions.
- Step 2: Decide what survives. The evidence still supports cutting homework for younger students and cutting long, disconnected assignments.
- Step 3: Narrow and add a condition rather than abandoning the argument.
- Step 4: Update the paragraphs. The paragraph claiming homework never works must change; it could become the concession paragraph that admits the high school benefit and uses it to argue for short, targeted assignments.
Answer: Revised thesis: "Elementary schools should replace most homework with in-class practice, and high schools should keep only short assignments tied directly to that day's lesson, because those are the only kinds of homework the evidence shows to be worth students' time." The old "homework never helps" paragraph becomes a concession that supports the new condition.
Common mistakes
- Ignoring evidence that doesn't fit. Readers notice, and on the synthesis essay the contradicting source is often there on purpose.
- Revising the thesis but not the body paragraphs, so the essay argues something different from what the introduction promises.
- Over-qualifying until the thesis takes no position. A revised thesis still has to be defensible and clear.
On the exam
- A thesis with a clear condition or limit ("..., at least for...") often reads as more thoughtful, and it can set up a line of reasoning that earns the sophistication point.
- Writing questions may give you a new fact and ask how to adjust a claim. Choose the revision that fits the new evidence while keeping the writer's main point.
Connected topics
Videos
Check yourself
4 questions on 6.5 Revising a thesis when new evidence appears. Pick an answer to see if you got it, and why.
Written for this practice set: a student's draft of a synthesis essay, which cites sources by letter. The sources are invented.
The writer then reads Source D, a study finding that students in four-day districts scored slightly lower in math than similar students in five-day districts, mostly where the fifth day offered no organized activities. Which revision of sentence 2 best accounts for this new evidence?
Sentence 10 waves away a serious concern. The writer has since read Source D, a study finding slightly lower math scores in four-day districts, mostly where the fifth day offered no organized activities. Which revision of sentence 10 best responds to the concern with evidence instead of an assumption?
Suppose the writer has revised the thesis to say that the board should adopt the four-day week only if it offers tutoring and activities on the fifth day. Which version of sentences 11 and 12 best fits that thesis?
| Hours of sleep on school nights | Number of students (out of 40) | Average self-rated focus in class (1 = low, 5 = high) |
|---|---|---|
| Fewer than 6 | 9 | 2.1 |
| 6 to 7 | 17 | 3.0 |
| 7 to 8 | 10 | 3.6 |
| More than 8 | 4 | 3.9 |
Survey of 40 students at one high school, who answered both questions about themselves. Data invented for this practice set.
A student's working thesis is "Starting school later is the only way to improve students' focus." The student then reads a second study finding that phone use late at night also predicts lower focus. Which revision of the thesis best accounts for both sources?
0 of 4 answered